Well, a funny thing happened a month or so, ago…

It seems that when I invoked the name of Canadian Dog Trainer Brad Pattison, I conjured up the manifest rage of his rabid detractors.

So, despite having other things to do…I am wrapping up editing on one book, writing on the other and doing a daily 10km with weight training to prepare for the Naked Philosopher cover shoot… I’ve allowed myself to get pulled into the muck and mire, once again.

Let’s see if I can put this to bed once-and-for-all……
I’m a big fan of web-stats…some people think it’s creepy…I think it’s fascinating. Lately, my big daily “fun” is checking up on the search terms that bring people to my site. 

For several months the number one term has been “hamsters”…due to that satirical piece I wrote a couple of years ago “Hamsters: Burrowing Threat, Gathering Menace”….Second is normally, “Jules Carlysle” or some weird manipulation of my name or likeness….”Canadian Political Humorists”….and stuff like that is always high on the list.

But, since I wrote about Brad Pattison, a whole host of new search terms have made an appearance and many of them are hilarious…actually, some are pretty vulgar or abusive so, I’ll keep them to myself. Let’s suffice to say that people are overwhelmingly interested in hurting him, having sex with him (both genders) or marrying him (which I suppose would be a combination of both the previous two)

Now, I do not consider this site to be a message board and I moderate all of the comments. If you post a comment that is pointless, off-topic or abusive, I delete it. 

So, if you want to tell me how terrible you think Brad Pattison is…

Or ask me to help you get him and his show off the air….

Or tell me that he has done “X”, “Y” or a particularly egregious “Z” …

Save your breath. I’m sick and thoroughly tired of your emails.

You bore me.’

I’m all for a little active debate, intelligent discourse or informed dissent…

But this isn’t it.

You see, I watch his show and I like it….and I like him.

You send me stupid emails telling me how terrible he is, presumably to get me to change my mind about him….and I don’t see anything in the emails that I like…

So, use your reasoning skills and try to determine for yourself….how this would benefit your cause?

I like him more….and you less….get the picture?
I don’t know if Brad Pattison has been party to any lawsuits and I don’t care.

That’s what courts are for, to settle disputes….and I can tell you, that being party to a lawsuit doesn’t have to mean that you are wrong about something. 

Either way, it’s not for me to judge.

It’s also worth noting that, the folks who keep emailing this stuff to me….links to message boards with these “claims”…never provide any proof….One posting had a blurb that looked official and in a moment of curiosity and boredom, I checked the CANLii database for the “docket number” and the names on the suit and found nothing….

But the point is, I shouldn’t have looked to begin with.

It makes no difference to me.  I like him and I like his show….that’s all I need to know.

What I MUST wonder however, is what…pray tell….motivates the rabid detractors?

What demons haunt those fevered little dreams of yours….hmmmmmmm?

What inspires you to spend your energy on Brad Pattison or frankly, personalizing anything that is distinctly impersonal and taking this anger upon yourself….Don’t you have some actual issues you could champion?

Maybe you have deep-seated issues related to TRANSFERENCE or PROJECTION, that need attention.

You see, the people (and animals) in our lives are a mirror that reflect back to us….What do you see in Brad Pattison that you cannot accept about yourself….?

You know, all of your misfired hatred may actually be LOVE….

The opposite of LOVE isn’t HATE…

It’s APATHY….and you guys have proven you are anything but detached observers.

So, just know that every time you send me another email about how much you hate Brad Pattison and every time you try to post something about him on this website…

I will know that deep down you really and truly love the man and just don’t know how to express it.

Now seriously, leave me alone.


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