Now, what you DON”T see in this syrupy public relations maneuver…..errrrr….I mean….candid photo of serpentine Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper…is that moments later, he unhinged his jaw and swallowed the poor feline whole.

 I don’t usually do baseless pot shots….but, Harper’s smile is just so creepy here….and the kitten??? Augh! How painfully contrived an effort to make Harper relatable and likable. God….he’s sitting in front of a fireplace, dressed casually….it couldn’t be more cliche if he was eating….errrr…..I mean….KISSING a baby! 

OK….now back to our regularily scheduled program:

Turtle…meet Scorpion…..Scorpion….meet the Turtle….

A Parable for Canadian Voters.

A scorpion wanted to cross a river but he could not swim.

When he saw a turtle, he called loudly to him, “Would you please help me cross the river?”

The turtle answered, “No, you will sting me.”

The scorpion replied, “No, I won’t sting you. If I sting you, both of us will drown and die. I promise not to sting you.”

Trusting the scorpion’s words, the turtle swam to him. The scorpion climbed onto the back of the turtle. The turtle swam hard until he almost reached the other side of the river. Suddenly, without thinking, the scorpion stung the back of the turtle’s neck. The turtle wailed with pain and little by little began to sink. As he was drowning, gasping for breath, he asked the scorpion, ” Why did you turn on me? You promised not to sting me. I am going to die, and soon you will die too.”

The scorpion answered, ” I don’t know why.”

Canadian voters are like the Alzheimer’s patient in a whorehouse.
….constantly surprised to discover they’re getting screwed.

(hat tip 2.5 men)

The innate nature of politics is corrupt.  Stop being surprised by that.

Corruption cannot be eradicated, mostly because the perception of it is coloured by the lens of our personal experience, beliefs and our vision of what constitutes the “ideal”society…

Truth is in the eye of the beholder….power is bought or negotiated…quid pro quo and all that jazz…reality is flexible and ideologies are always bred deep in the bones.

I spend much of my time, writing for an American audience. I’m often drawn to conclusions about the semantic madness that colours much of their political discourse. Everyone has an agenda. Their system was established in a more innocent time and didn’t account for the incredible ways that marketing and media would be used to manipulate an entire nation of voters.

It’s shocking, blatant, and wildly effective.

The players today are so good that they have managed to completely out-play the game.

The American political system isn’t Democracy, it’s the bastard love-child of marketing and greed. What we see….what the Americans are left with….is the shit produced when authority finally consumes virtue….and washes it down with Kool-Aid.

Say what you will about our country and the people who run it, but our system works and has served us well.

Our biggest scandals wouldn’t even register a blip on the Corruption Richter Scale in the US.

But, I’m deeply….DEEPLY troubled by the tone of this current election. Low-blows, attack ads….It’s not as sophisticated as the American mechanism….in terms of the methods used to divide and conquer the hearts and minds of the American voter….

But, it’s not like we aren’t trying.  It’s exactly the direction we are headed. Largely because the strategies….as sleezy and dishonest as they may be……work.

We have a great opportunity to nip this in the bud…..Let us bloggers do the dirty-work….We can do the name-calling and finger-pointing…(and kitten eating accusations)....Let the Leaders and the corporate media stay well above the fray…I want my politicans to stay out of the animated bird-pooping business.

I used to own a store and the sales rep from ValPak wanted to sell to me very badly….He came back, week after week…But, his only sales pitch was to criticise the competition. I told him repeatedly to stop. I happened to like the woman who sold for his competitor and she never said an untoward word about anyone. But, business is business and if ValPak had a better product, I would bloody-well buy from them. The guy just couldn’t do it…..the only card he had in his deck was the “they suck, they suck, they suck” card. I told him to sell me what ValPak had to offer me and forget about slamming the other guy. I explicitly told him that I would never buy from him as long as he used the negative hype sales tactics. 

I want our politicans to sell me on what they have to offer….Does your party reflect the ideals and values that I hold dear….what’s your plan….etc….pretty basic stuff….

I desperately want them to stop rolling around in the mud and drudging up a lot of crap.  I see little value in tarring every Liberal or every Conservative with the same, broad, historical corruption brush…Liars, cheats and assholes abound on both sides of the aisle….go figure…..that’s because they abound everywhere….I know….I’ve loved more than my fair share.

Every once in awhile, we, as a country, are gonna get screwed….this is the very nature of power.  When it happens, politicians please, deal with it swiftly and openly….Let us see you face it head-on. It’s the moaning, justifying and covering up that breeds our mistrust.

The key is…..if you know that you will occasionally and undoubtedly, get screwed by this particular breed of bastard.

….then we should at least leave the lights on.

Did I mention that Stephen Harper eats kittens?

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