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Maxim.com posted this list of OJ rhymes, related to the Vegas crimes….see what I did there?
OK, they aren’t perfect or brilliant, but neither am I.
It’s been a rhyme-y kinda week…so, here it goes….
“If the items are mine, then what is the crime?”
“If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches.”
“If I’m [...]

Are YOU one of the enlightened Americans who, along with Congress are FURIOUS with Canada for having lax border security?
Are YOU one of the rocket scientists that think Canada’s poor border security poses an imminent danger to the United States?
Have YOU written your terse indictment and pointed condemnation of Canada yet?
Well, grab yer harmoneeca, giddy-up and [...]

The only humor here is the hilarious contention by Iran’s President at Columbia Monday that Iran has no homosexuals and that it’s largley a western phenomenon…
This is a remarkable video from the CBC called OUT IN IRAN
Well done…and worth watching!

T’was the Night Before Ji’had
Listen my friends, to the story I tell…
About fighting terror and doing it well.
It began in the Fall of two thousand and four
The Intelligence Service heard whispers and more…
Brash kids ran their mouths in the public domain
Sought like-minds for meetings by bus and by train.
On websites and chatrooms espousing radical ways
They [...]

 “”An Iraqi friend of mine was laughing, saying, ‘The Americans are the new Baathists in Iraq’,” Graham told CTV’s Question Period on Sunday, referring to the party once ruled by Hussein.”
I can hear the nattering of furious Conservative and yes, even some of our Democratic friends from south of the border already….
Macleans Magazine and Patrick [...]

The silent clown will be interred in an invisible box that will appear to get ever smaller during the memorial service. Thankfully, the service is not expected run long, as there won’t be any speaking. However, some have expressed concern that the processional may appear to be moving forward, but really won’t be going anywhere at all.

 
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful…Hate me because I’m a raging bitch. Honestly, the reason I posted this article was the final line, which I happily use as my title here…..clever…literary….delightful….much like Naomi Campbell herself!   HA!…gotcha…..see what I did there?…..I made a little joke.
I want to know why the crazy, evil, bitchy, unstable, difficult to deal [...]

5o Afghan Detainees remain unaccounted for by Afghan officials….Here’s that story. What strikes me is the comments left by fellow Candians about whose problem it is…..whether or not we should care because they are not covered by our Charter of Rights and Freedoms….invoking 9/11 blah blah blah…..
Here’s the deal…
Canada is doing a right, good and just [...]

Here’s the thing…
A Canadian radio commentator in Vancouver has sparked a little ‘outrage’ over remarks he made concerning 3 Sheik children who refused to have their passport photos taken without their turbans. Passport Canada denied them passports. Pro or Con….I’m perfectly happy to allow everyone the right to an opinion and their freedom to express [...]

….and in seven short years, she can be yours! A Bavarian politician (pictured here)  wants marriage to automatically expire after 7 years.  Talk about sucking all the fun out of infidelity.  What’s interesting here is that she is credited with discrediting her main competition one, state premier Edmund Stoiber…who despite being leader of a Christian [...]

 Sharpen your pencils people, I’m about to tell you a powerful secret…..
For those of you who don’t know (which would be all of you) I’m a marketing consultant. I prefer the title ‘guru’ but, it doesn’t look as pretty on my business cards.
There’s a wonderful little book called The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing and [...]

I was prepared to say that most jokes are not entirely limited to a single comedien, especially with current affairs. But, then I clicked through to the article and this is what presented itself:  “Cenk Uygur of Air America’s morning show “The Young Turks” insisted on his program Wednesday that Colbert used his joke on [...]

Man, ya gotta hate it when this happens!  Poor dude in Venzuela woke up during his own autopsy. Luckily they had only just begun…(cue Streisand music)…..and you thought YOU were having a bad day. I feel badly for the guy, who had been fished out of a car wreck…but it had to be an enormous [...]

…and you can tell this because not only are we dressed adorably in toques and resting comfortably on the chesterfield, drinking 6% beer with our pet beavers….but because we have a government willing to defend our civil liberties.  I would like to invite all Americans who are unhappy with their current President and the damage [...]

So, somewhere in Germany, the game “hide the sausage” took on an entirely unique connotation, when an unnamed man…whom I shall call Mr. Oh My Gawd I’m sooooo Embarrassed Right Now….hollowed out some sausage to hide 2 dildos on their way to Dubai.  His big mistake was taking the altered meat back to the butcher for [...]

I know it’s not a word. But it rhymes. 
Continuing developments in Google Click-Fraud issue.
But, I’m using the opportunity to talk about my personal issue with their AdWords program.  Actually, I’m NOT going to use this opportunity to bash Google….because I’m supposed to be using my sense of humor here…not bitching about monolithic organizations that….aurghhhhhh!…I deleted [...]

 A disgruntled Belgian voter put his country up for sale on Ebay.
Hilarious? Totally…But, also understandable.  Tell me how a country of 10 million people racks up $300 billion in national debt. That’s 30 billion dollars per person… Is Bush secretly running Belgium too? Hell, it wouldn’t have to be in secret….who pays any attention to Belgium?

 …Try ….   EVERYTHING! 
OH DUUUUUUUDE……SERIOUSLY……
You’re killin’ me here.
I was looking for a pic to put with the story below and found this.
I stand by David Duchovny’s hotness…but, this picture really calls my judgement into question.
He looks characteristically pouty albeit a little slippery and scared…
David, baby….I can’t defend you in the shiny pants….but, to be fair…it takes a [...]

(AHHHHHH…that’s more like it)
It’s a live action half hour show about an insanely sexy, though self destructive, navel-gazing, has-been author who has lots of sex and dirty talk, while doin’ drugs and pining after his ex…It seems oddly inappropriate for the Cartoon Network…but who am I to judge?
Nudity, cocaine and Cheerios are every bit as [...]

 ’It was a well known saying in Russia “that there is no leisure intercourse in Soviet Russia”, probably it is less known for the rest of the world. It meant that Soviet citizens have made this only for get some kids. But recently it has been known that there was a whole bunch of those [...]

Nothing brightens my day like a good dose of irony.
The night before he was arrested in his Las Vegas hotel suite for armed robbery and related charges …OJ Simpson was caught on camera by TMZ whistling “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz.  It’s only appropriate since it’s too late for [...]

Under the heading “stuff you already know but desperately need to be reminded of”…Bush is laying the groundwork for a war with Iran.  I have thought this for a long time now….His escalating rhetoric against Iran is remeniscent of the early days before they took down Saddam. The truly sad issue here is that Iran [...]

     OK, now I’ve seen everything….I keep saying that, but I always mean it. Hot Mormons taking off their clothes…..pinch me. I must be in my gay best friend’s fantasy….. 
Don’t like my title? …Here’s my argument….’taking god’s name in vain is NOT using his name in casual conversation or as a curse….it’s actually fighting wars and committing [...]

Well too bad baby because you’ve got it girl!  It seems the reason she doesn’t appear on some magazine covers has nothing to do with her penchant for throwing cellphones and things at employees….And it’s certainly not because she has a notoriously bad attitude….It’s because she’s black. Naomi has joined with a number of other [...]

The Census is out and for the first time single people out-number married people in Canada since 1871. Of course, same-sex marriage, the rise in common-law relationships and single-parent households will surely be blamed by less Progressive countries and Moralists for our iminent demise under the weight of our own perversions….clearly evidenced by our excellent public education [...]

 
It’s no secret that truth is in the eye of the beholder. We can be generous about it and say that we interpret information as it is reflected through our individual lens of social conditioning, beliefs, among other things…What we understand and how we understand it, is ultimately colored….dare I say…tainted by numerous factors.  We [...]

  OK-OK…MAY I……It’s seriously weird….I know…but, even though I let my son wander around with bed-head…I always feel the desire to take a brush to Aaron Eckhart…Look, he’s a very talented guy. My son and I both love Thank You for Smoking…Conversations with Other Women….he was kinda needy….No Reservations, he was trying too hard to [...]

First, my heartfelt congratulations to Kathy Griffin for her Emmy win….from one red head to another….She has been an under-rated comedien for too long.
Now, there’s a dust-up because she said “Suck It Jesus”… in her thank you speech.  Here’s the deal people….you are NOT constitutionally protected against being offended or having your feelings hurt. Free speech [...]

  I die just a little bit, inside…*sniff* …
Attention Republicans!
Please use this book to beat yourselves about the head until November 2008.
Yes, it’s a quote book…but it’s so much more….Read about it, including excerpts, reviews etc at JulesCarlysle.com or just go see it on Amazon.
Table of Contents: 
Democracy Is…
An Open Letter to the President
1. A Pee with Me [...]

  *sigh*…Why are Janet Jacksons nipples  still making headlines? If I knew I could get 3 years worth of international headlines by exposing one of mine…well….let’s just say, I’d be whipping them out every once in awhile. It’d be well worth the fine….for me anyway. There wouldn’t be enough therapy in the world for you however…
Ironically, [...]

 The bugs are fixed! So, registration etc is functional. Now I can add new editors and writers to the site! It’s all great news. There are still design changes I want, but there will be plenty of fresh content regardless….So, ya’ll come back now ya hear!

This was a fun one. I started the original post in support of the Poppies for Medicine proposal put forth by a UK polling company who surveyed Canadians, who also thought that buying poppy crops from Afghan farmers to make legal medications was a better idea than the current poppy economy which sells them for [...]

Patience or discipline? David Letterman gave a wonderful interview to Oprah today. I loved it. He was hilarious as usual…He never replied to the copy of my book I sent him…but I don’t hold grudges…
Speaking of his son, he asked about the issue of patience versus discipline and since I have had a tremendously [...]

OK, this is totally serious… Hailed for limitless talent, Clooney given French cultural honor”…
I love him…I really do. I begrudge the man nothing…He deserves his success and his life…He should do every single 22 yr old model he can get his hands on….But “LIMITLESS” talent? I’m a big fan and I have real trouble with [...]

Just kidding! That was Socrates…but, you can understand my confusion.
Bush has mused in Paul Draper’s new book ‘Dead Certain’ about his legacy and life after the White House. For my part, I’d like to say that any mortal man who has had the privelege of serving as President, but who, in light of what has [...]

You must be here because of the Defamer Job Board. Here are/will be some sample posts. I had a whole bunch until the aforementioned server issue. I’m slowly but surely re-posting. This site is not officially launched yet. There are bugs evident when I try to set up a new account for editors.
So if you’ve [...]

   A Canadian study has determined that men are more likely to look at sexual content on the internet …women are proportionately less likely to view porn online or off.
Why exactly did we pay for anyone to conduct this study to begin with??
Next, we should commission a study into whether or not the earth orbits [...]