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It’s no secret that truth is in the eye of the beholder. We can be generous about it and say that we interpret information as it is reflected through our individual lens of social conditioning and beliefs (among other things…) What we understand and how we understand it, is ultimately colored….dare I say…tainted… by numerous factors. 

Or we can be less generous and say that we are brazenly manipulated by propaganda .

Both are true. Everyone is drinking the Kool-Aid. Everyone is taking the red pill….or is it the blue pill?

The only distinction between one sugary drink and the next.. is the color… and even that is artificial.

The commonly accepted truth is that neither one is good for you.

But truth is hardly the point — It stopped being relevant a long time ago.

Being shocked when we find evil lurking in the halls of power….is akin to being surprised when we find milk lurking in the dairy aisle.  But, the fact is, while both parties shape the available information in ways that clearly stack the deck in their favor; they do it because they honestly believe that they are right and acting in the best interest of their country…Those with truly evil motives are far fewer than we are lead to believe.

Everyone’s talking about the jabs taken at the Canadian Military by Fox’s Red Eye — it’s a satirical news show.

 Go easy on them.

 Republicans aren’t funny.

They have tried twice to recreate the Daily Show but failed because they don’t understand the nuances required to deliver good satire. The best Republican-leaning satire is The Colbert Report…now that’s funny.

Here’s the deal.  

 Nobody shits on the military.

That’s the rule.

Shit on the politicians; shit on the media-whores….go ahead and shit on celebrities if you are really that bored.

But do NOT shit on the troops.

It’s in the worst possible taste.

But I can’t and I won’t stop you from doing it.

In response to Greg Gutfeld’s comments, I would like to point out a few things about the Canadian Armed Forces.

In case you didn’t know, Greg,

Canada’s entire population is approximately 30 million people, or in other words, the population of California.

Our Canadian Armed Forces have a total of about 65,000 soldiers and civilians in service, compared to America’s 4 million in the combined armed services.

My Obama Post for InformedVote.ca

 

Oh Happy Day! 

Today, Barack Obama becomes the 44^th President of the United States.

I must admit, I wasn’t convinced he had the experience or charisma to win that election.  I was rooting for Hilary, mostly because it would bring Bill back into that inner circle of power. Say what you must about Bill’s personal shortcomings, he is a brilliant man and a political giant. As it happens, Bill liked to have actual power and did not appear keen on simply being power-adjacent. The former affable, smoothee also went slightly off his cake during the campaign, calling his stability into question.  They may have dodged a bullet. (Sorry Bill)

But, since his win on November 4^th, Obama has impressed me.

And it’s not exactly how I had imagined it…

I thought an Obama win would be akin to a case of the stomach flu….I spent the entire campaign groaning in my bed, sipping ginger ale from a bendy straw….trying not to puke…..finally staggering to the bathroom to kneel and make my humble offering to the porcelain god….I may feel 100 times better, but I resisted right up to the bitter end.

 

 

 

 

A furry plague on our planet, hamsters need to be wiped-out before every street in America is lined with cedar shavings.

 

What untold evil lurks in the hearts of these sadistic bastards?

 

Who will be the next victim of these bastions of mayhem?
How do we foil their dastardly plans?

 

These are some of the crucial questions we must ask ourselves before it’s too late; We call upon our government to take immediate, pre-emptive military action against the hamsters. They must be wiped out where they live, work and train. We must fight them “there” so that we will not have to fight them “here”.

 

We must wage a global war on hamsters before they further infiltrate our homes, stripmalls and kindergarten classrooms. All pet stores and primary schools must be carpet-bombed with cats immediately.

 

We recognize and regret that there will be a human toll paid, once our troops are engaged in armed conflict with the hamsters, but remember, these pet stores have been openly harbouring hamsters for generations.

 

Don’t be alarmed….Please try to stay calm…..keep your seat in the locked and upright position and fasten your proverbial seatbelts….

I have some important news for you and I don’t want you to get upset…..

The sky is blue

Water is wet

An object in motion will stay in motion…An object at rest will stay at rest

And a juvenile, arrogant, irresponsible, liar….will abuse power if you give him any…..These are the universal laws (sort of)

President George W Bush LIED!

What’s that you say????

It’s not possible????

Hey, and I don’t want to rain on your parade but, so did Cheney, Libby, Card…blah blah blah….I can barely be bothered to type it out anymore.

Why do these earth shattering revelations make headlines?….

OK fine, they are still important news….But, why does everyone feign SURPRISE and OUTRAGE?

I’m not even going to try and say something insightful and pithy…..

Let’s go with this instead:

It’s time to sit America down and stage an intervention.

I think I’d go with something like this…

I apologize in advance for the big spaces….formatting in WordPress is a bit of a nightmare for me….

I was looking for short-form fiction gigs to exercise my creative muscles and I came across the following ad on Craig’s List…

 

 

 

 

 

But, not really being interested in writing “Adult Content” , I sent the following inquiry for clarification.

 

 

 

This is the reply I received, which surprised and frankly, confused me...I thought she was angry at my assumption that she was making adult-themed content...

 

 

 

 

 

Concerned that I had offended her somehow, and in fact, wondering if maybe she confused me with someone else…Like maybe someone else read her ad and sent a dirty story as a submission àudition`and it wasn`t what she had intended with the ad to begin with. I had no idea she was offended by my politics and couldn`t figure out how she could judge my `talent` based on 2 sentences…..so, I sent this…

 

 

 

 

 See?

This is me, rolling my eyes….

They are screenshots of a video I shot last week where I rolled my eyes no less than 12 times in 88 seconds….which trust me, is absolutely ridiculous!

On with our show….Are you ready?

Partisan = GOOD   Bipartisan = BAD  End of rant.   OK, just kidding….

This goes hand in hand with my bit about the importance of honoring the notion of “Official Opposition”…For some reason, America decided that it was good for political parties to agree and co-operate.  Someone decided that when a Republican stands up and speaks out against the policies of a Democrat or a Democrat stands at a podium and derides a Republican led Bill, that they are …..ack!…you know what? I’m tired of explaining stuff you already know or pretending that the fault is balanced equally between parties…

The fact is, it’s not. Republicans don’t like to be challenged, questioned or held to account and the media, for some bizarre reason have taken to haplessly humping the White House leg like an ill-behaved terrier. Truth is, the world has been captivated by a right-wing circle jerk and I don’t really know where to look anymore because I’m kinda sick of watching as they gratify themselves over the smelly distended corpse of Democracy…

 Visit here to read info about the book…like Table of Contents, Introduction etc…
Click here to visit Amazon

Go to bottom of this post to buy a copy directly from me.
(Proceeds help support the Adopt-A-Doctor Program to keep physicians in under-serviced rural communities)

Afterword (from DUMBASS)

“Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.” 

When I was growing up, that statement was always closely followed by, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” 

Bush is fond of the former, yet conspicuously silent on the latter.  

It’s to be expected I guess. When your daily bread is served up alongside a litany of unspeakable crimes against humanity like torture, murder, lying and stupidity, the last thing you want to do is invite reciprocation in-kind.

The democratic system’s checks and balances have been revealed, most graphically under this administration, to be deeply flawed and utterly worthless.

Power is bought, not earned. The truth is whatever they say it is and subject to change without notice.

The once great systems of American democracy and justice have long been perverted and corrupted beyond all recognition.

 

Once again, the United States could benefit from looking to Canada as an example of certain policies that work effectively. I know it pains them….those who know Canada exists anyway….and generally Americans have a hard time giving credit to Canada for anything.

(I’m still annoyed that after Sept 11, when Bush was thanking countries for their outpouring of support, Canada was left off the list. Personally, I thought it was extraordinary that we not only received the diverted plane traffic but, Canadian citizens actually took displaced passengers into their homes because the borders were closed. I think it warranted a shout out at least since he was already thanking a long list of helpers…..)

In Canada, when one party wins the election, the party that wins second place becomes the Official Opposition.

That’s their name “OFFICIAL OPPOSITION”.

It’s their job to argue/debate/challenge every decision the ruling party wants to make. It’s like being assigned a position in a debate competition or making a very public list of ‘Pros and Cons’ (hmmmm…..that makes me think of criminals and prostitutes…how ironically apropos) I won’t insult you by explaining why arguing all sides of an important decision is not only beneficial but CRITICAL….again, see  what I did there? I made a funny….

 

There is some serious over-reaction to the Blackwater shootings in Iraq.

It’s not like they’ve killed EVERYBODY….although there’s still plenty of time.

Blackwater President Erik Prince testified before the House Oversight Committee today, defending his company’s trigger-happy mercenary cowboys. ….errr….I mean….Private Security Forces…(please don’t shoot me)

The problem with the media today is that they focus on the negative.

Sure! We hear lots of reports about the civillians killed by Blackwater operatives in Iraq…but NOTHING about all of the people they didn’t kill. There’s still millions of targets….errr….people…..breathing…I mean….living in the war torn country and many of them will NOT be killed by Blackwater employees. 

What about them?

Who is talking about all of the good Blackwater is doing? 
Is the glass half empty or is it lying in the dirt with a bullet between it’s eyes? 

No wait…those are both negative……

Is the glass half full of shrapnel or is it totally immune from criminal prosecution
because of a directive signed by Paul Bremer before he left the country?

And so what if they did kill a few innocent people? Erik Prince is right….

Blackwater isn’t responsible for the behaviour of it’s employees.

Are YOU one of the enlightened Americans who, along with Congress are FURIOUS with Canada for having lax border security?

Are YOU one of the rocket scientists that think Canada’s poor border security poses an imminent danger to the United States?

Have YOU written your terse indictment and pointed condemnation of Canada yet?

Well, grab yer harmoneeca, giddy-up and jump on, cow-folk…cause that bandwagon may just leave without you!  

For the rest of you…..

Everybody is UP IN ARMS because some American undercover-types smuggled fake weapons components across the Canadian border into the United States…..Dangerous?…to be sure…..Sign of poor security?…..absolutely……..Something needs to be done about it.

But, if I may explain…..

These ’weapons’ didn’t pass through the Canadian border checkpoint. They passed through the AMERICAN checkpoint. When you drive into Canada, you drive past the US Border Services Building and are stopped by Canadian Border Guards who are responsible for stopping banned people and materials from entering OUR country.

Not to put too fine a point on it but, let me be clear…

When you enter the United States, you drive PAST the Canadian Border Services personnel (because they are busy stopping people from entering their country) and are stopped, searched, questioned, inspected…whatever…by AMERICAN BORDER PATROL AGENTS!

The only humor here is the hilarious contention by Iran’s President at Columbia Monday that Iran has no homosexuals and that it’s largley a western phenomenon…

This is a remarkable video from the CBC called OUT IN IRAN

Well done…and worth watching!

T’was the Night Before Ji’had

Listen my friends, to the story I tell…

About fighting terror and doing it well.

It began in the Fall of two thousand and four

The Intelligence Service heard whispers and more…

Brash kids ran their mouths in the public domain

Sought like-minds for meetings by bus and by train.

On websites and chatrooms espousing radical ways

They were found out completely in a matter of days.

“Storm Canadian cities, take the Prime Minister’s head”

“We will not be happy ‘til everyone’s dead.”

Parliament buildings, the CBC too

(Can’t you dudes find a job…something better to do?)

Canadian spies called the RCMP

To launch a combined and legal look-see.

They kept their eyes open and watched from afar

Arrested two , driving guns from the US by car.

Agents went undercover, because the risks were so great

Officers sold the duped villains fake ammonium nitrate.

The very explosive, used to kill once before

Oklahoma ’95…but now…three times more.

The cops kept it legal, their marks unaware.

 “”An Iraqi friend of mine was laughing, saying, ‘The Americans are the new Baathists in Iraq’,” Graham told CTV’s Question Period on Sunday, referring to the party once ruled by Hussein.”

I can hear the nattering of furious Conservative and yes, even some of our Democratic friends from south of the border already….

Macleans Magazine and Patrick Graham are NOT the Weekly World News….They weighed their arguments and I’m sure they are wading into this controversial quagmire with full knowledge and forethought. I’m positive it wasn’t done lightly.

Do me a favor and read the item first, before you get those knickers in a knot. 

From the looks of things, Graham’s argument comes straight from friends in Iraq who see that the American strategy has taken on the same characteristics as the Baathists under Saddam.  Pretty fascinating stuff actually.

“So when I went back I was really curious because the people that I knew who had been in the insurgency were now fighting with the Americans.”[...]

Graham said the switch was an extraordinary development.

5o Afghan Detainees remain unaccounted for by Afghan officials….Here’s that story. What strikes me is the comments left by fellow Candians about whose problem it is…..whether or not we should care because they are not covered by our Charter of Rights and Freedoms….invoking 9/11 blah blah blah…..

Here’s the deal…

Canada is doing a right, good and just thing in Afghanistan and even if our Charter does not extend to them tecnichally….we should be living and leading by example if we want them to grow a stable and democratic government. That means justice extends to all…..and torture is a problem….and a corrupt prison system that allows criminals to buy their freedom is our problem…..So, it’s simple really.

We tell Afghanistan officials to keep proper records, crack down on corruption and take care of these important issues or we will walk away from our mission there. …period. We will show them how to set up proper systems that track corruption and prosecute it…..We will help them set up the proper record-keeping systems and safegurads…..But it must be done or we have no business getting killed in their country and hanging around to help them while they undermine our efforts.  Afghanistan officials have said that they are afraid of what will happen when we leave….So, use to help them fix these problems because they hurt us all.

I was prepared to say that most jokes are not entirely limited to a single comedien, especially with current affairs. But, then I clicked through to the article and this is what presented itself:  “Cenk Uygur of Air America‘s morning show “The Young Turks” insisted on his program Wednesday that Colbert used his joke on Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report.”Uygur posted a video on YouTube comparing his joke — which he claims he first told on his Sept. 7 radio program — with a segment that aired on “The Colbert Report” four days later.

In both jokes, Uygur and Colbert suggest that the Republican presidential candidates sounded like Klingons from “Star Trek” while speaking about the value of honor.”

First, I’d like to congratulate Uyger on his new-found pop culture relevancy….Colbert is probably one of the most influential media figures in the country. He can steal from me anytime….not just jokes either….my car….my shoes…..my watch…..my dog….My identity…(wucka-wucka)

Second, I’d like to say….”Klingons?…..REALLY???……you want to go with that, do you?…..*sigh*……?!”

I think what’s bothering me here is that I’m pretty sure that I can’t mock them with references to their mother’s basements and their virginity….

…and you can tell this because not only are we dressed adorably in toques and resting comfortably on the chesterfield, drinking 6% beer with our pet beavers….but because we have a government willing to defend our civil liberties.  I would like to invite all Americans who are unhappy with their current President and the damage he’s doing to your Bill of Rights to come to Canada and claim political asylum.

I’m pleased to say our leaders are actually willing to PROTECT OUR PRIVACY  by denying a recent move to allow law enforcement to access our personal data without a warrant. I mean, they are protecting my privacy in ways I never realized. I always asumed that if the cops wanted to call up the telephone company to get my current address and phone number, that they could do it without a warrant. THEY CAN’T!

I’m shocked…clearly…I could have been committing a lot more crimes all of these years. What a waste!