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It’s no secret that truth is in the eye of the beholder. We can be generous about it and say that we interpret information as it is reflected through our individual lens of social conditioning and beliefs (among other things…) What we understand and how we understand it, is ultimately colored….dare I say…tainted… by numerous factors. 

Or we can be less generous and say that we are brazenly manipulated by propaganda .

Both are true. Everyone is drinking the Kool-Aid. Everyone is taking the red pill….or is it the blue pill?

The only distinction between one sugary drink and the next.. is the color… and even that is artificial.

The commonly accepted truth is that neither one is good for you.

But truth is hardly the point — It stopped being relevant a long time ago.

Being shocked when we find evil lurking in the halls of power….is akin to being surprised when we find milk lurking in the dairy aisle.  But, the fact is, while both parties shape the available information in ways that clearly stack the deck in their favor; they do it because they honestly believe that they are right and acting in the best interest of their country…Those with truly evil motives are far fewer than we are lead to believe.




“Do not criticize your government when out of the
country. Never cease to do so when at home.”
Winston Churchill

 

 OK….I admit it.

 This is a slightly re-worked reprint of a column I wrote back in 2008.

 The original had one of my customary inflammatory titles, but I fear InformedVote.ca might not be ready to entertain me in all of my salty, fight-provoking glory just yet.

 I’ll give you a hint though…The previous title implied Stephen Harper is so enamoured of a certain country to our immediate South, that he metaphorically got down on his knees and….uhmmm….pleasured  them spectacularly. *I have restored previous title*

 

Now, there is a perfectly good reason why I have chosen this column to reprint and there’s even a reason why I do so today.

 

The Federal Budget came down today and….well, you don’t need me to tell you.

It’s all over the news and smarter people than I have written about it on this very website.  Suffice to say, the budget does little more than pay lip-service (see that? I made a funny) to helping our country’s most vulnerable populations.

Everyone’s talking about the jabs taken at the Canadian Military by Fox’s Red Eye — it’s a satirical news show.

 Go easy on them.

 Republicans aren’t funny.

They have tried twice to recreate the Daily Show but failed because they don’t understand the nuances required to deliver good satire. The best Republican-leaning satire is The Colbert Report…now that’s funny.

Here’s the deal.  

 Nobody shits on the military.

That’s the rule.

Shit on the politicians; shit on the media-whores….go ahead and shit on celebrities if you are really that bored.

But do NOT shit on the troops.

It’s in the worst possible taste.

But I can’t and I won’t stop you from doing it.

In response to Greg Gutfeld’s comments, I would like to point out a few things about the Canadian Armed Forces.

In case you didn’t know, Greg,

Canada’s entire population is approximately 30 million people, or in other words, the population of California.

Our Canadian Armed Forces have a total of about 65,000 soldiers and civilians in service, compared to America’s 4 million in the combined armed services.

Only God knows why….traffic to this old post from 3yrs ago is way up this week…So let me help you out and repost it in a convenient location:

It was origonally called “Here Kitty-Kitty…Feeding Time on Parliament Hill”

 

I’ve been many things in this life, a bestselling author, a successful IT entrepreneur, a consultant to the government, an alcoholic, a junkie, a mother and a criminal….

(I said I’ve been many things, I didn’t say they were all good.)

But today, I sit at the lowest point in my life.

This isn’t something I normally talk about openly.

But for you, I’m flinging the doors wide open on these deeply private matters because I can offer you a view of our country that most voters never get to see…..how it looks from the bottom.

You see….

I am marginal.

Today, as I write this post, my entire life exists only in the narrow space between somewhere and absolutely nowhere. 

While you likely reside in the wide open pages of life….writing your life story in broad, cursive strokes…using luxury words like adjectives and adverbs….

My story is squashed and squeezed behind that thin red line that so clearly divides us.

I am perched precariously on the razor edge, in constant danger of falling off the world entirely.

“Do not criticize your government when out of the country. Never cease to do so when at home.”
Winston Churchill

 

 

It’s no secret that I’m not a huge fan of the Conservative platform, but aside from being completely without personality, and the disturbing wardrobe choices….mostly related to his choice of vests…..I have not had huge concerns about Stephen Harper. His government is largley rendered inert by it’s minority status.  I’m even a little encouraged by his recent willingness to assert himself against Bush and defend the NW Passage….

But this very disturbing transcript has made me sit up and take notice….Does anyone who has such disdain for his country deserve to be it’s Prime Minister?  Let me share:

“It may not be true, but it’s legendary that if you’re like all Americans, you know almost nothing except for your own country. Which makes you probably knowledgeable about one more country than most Canadians.”

“First, facts about Canada. Canada is a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the term, and very proud of it. “

 Now, what you DON”T see in this syrupy public relations maneuver…..errrrr….I mean….candid photo of serpentine Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper…is that moments later, he unhinged his jaw and swallowed the poor feline whole.

 I don’t usually do baseless pot shots….but, Harper’s smile is just so creepy here….and the kitten??? Augh! How painfully contrived an effort to make Harper relatable and likable. God….he’s sitting in front of a fireplace, dressed casually….it couldn’t be more cliche if he was eating….errrr…..I mean….KISSING a baby! 

OK….now back to our regularily scheduled program:

Turtle…meet Scorpion…..Scorpion….meet the Turtle….

A Parable for Canadian Voters.

A scorpion wanted to cross a river but he could not swim.

When he saw a turtle, he called loudly to him, “Would you please help me cross the river?”

The turtle answered, “No, you will sting me.”

The scorpion replied, “No, I won’t sting you. If I sting you, both of us will drown and die. I promise not to sting you.”

 

Once again, the United States could benefit from looking to Canada as an example of certain policies that work effectively. I know it pains them….those who know Canada exists anyway….and generally Americans have a hard time giving credit to Canada for anything.

(I’m still annoyed that after Sept 11, when Bush was thanking countries for their outpouring of support, Canada was left off the list. Personally, I thought it was extraordinary that we not only received the diverted plane traffic but, Canadian citizens actually took displaced passengers into their homes because the borders were closed. I think it warranted a shout out at least since he was already thanking a long list of helpers…..)

In Canada, when one party wins the election, the party that wins second place becomes the Official Opposition.

That’s their name “OFFICIAL OPPOSITION”.

It’s their job to argue/debate/challenge every decision the ruling party wants to make. It’s like being assigned a position in a debate competition or making a very public list of ‘Pros and Cons’ (hmmmm…..that makes me think of criminals and prostitutes…how ironically apropos) I won’t insult you by explaining why arguing all sides of an important decision is not only beneficial but CRITICAL….again, see  what I did there? I made a funny….

Are YOU one of the enlightened Americans who, along with Congress are FURIOUS with Canada for having lax border security?

Are YOU one of the rocket scientists that think Canada’s poor border security poses an imminent danger to the United States?

Have YOU written your terse indictment and pointed condemnation of Canada yet?

Well, grab yer harmoneeca, giddy-up and jump on, cow-folk…cause that bandwagon may just leave without you!  

For the rest of you…..

Everybody is UP IN ARMS because some American undercover-types smuggled fake weapons components across the Canadian border into the United States…..Dangerous?…to be sure…..Sign of poor security?…..absolutely……..Something needs to be done about it.

But, if I may explain…..

These ’weapons’ didn’t pass through the Canadian border checkpoint. They passed through the AMERICAN checkpoint. When you drive into Canada, you drive past the US Border Services Building and are stopped by Canadian Border Guards who are responsible for stopping banned people and materials from entering OUR country.

Not to put too fine a point on it but, let me be clear…

When you enter the United States, you drive PAST the Canadian Border Services personnel (because they are busy stopping people from entering their country) and are stopped, searched, questioned, inspected…whatever…by AMERICAN BORDER PATROL AGENTS!

T’was the Night Before Ji’had

Listen my friends, to the story I tell…

About fighting terror and doing it well.

It began in the Fall of two thousand and four

The Intelligence Service heard whispers and more…

Brash kids ran their mouths in the public domain

Sought like-minds for meetings by bus and by train.

On websites and chatrooms espousing radical ways

They were found out completely in a matter of days.

“Storm Canadian cities, take the Prime Minister’s head”

“We will not be happy ‘til everyone’s dead.”

Parliament buildings, the CBC too

(Can’t you dudes find a job…something better to do?)

Canadian spies called the RCMP

To launch a combined and legal look-see.

They kept their eyes open and watched from afar

Arrested two , driving guns from the US by car.

Agents went undercover, because the risks were so great

Officers sold the duped villains fake ammonium nitrate.

The very explosive, used to kill once before

Oklahoma ’95…but now…three times more.

The cops kept it legal, their marks unaware.

5o Afghan Detainees remain unaccounted for by Afghan officials….Here’s that story. What strikes me is the comments left by fellow Candians about whose problem it is…..whether or not we should care because they are not covered by our Charter of Rights and Freedoms….invoking 9/11 blah blah blah…..

Here’s the deal…

Canada is doing a right, good and just thing in Afghanistan and even if our Charter does not extend to them tecnichally….we should be living and leading by example if we want them to grow a stable and democratic government. That means justice extends to all…..and torture is a problem….and a corrupt prison system that allows criminals to buy their freedom is our problem…..So, it’s simple really.

We tell Afghanistan officials to keep proper records, crack down on corruption and take care of these important issues or we will walk away from our mission there. …period. We will show them how to set up proper systems that track corruption and prosecute it…..We will help them set up the proper record-keeping systems and safegurads…..But it must be done or we have no business getting killed in their country and hanging around to help them while they undermine our efforts.  Afghanistan officials have said that they are afraid of what will happen when we leave….So, use to help them fix these problems because they hurt us all.

Here’s the thing…

A Canadian radio commentator in Vancouver has sparked a little ‘outrage’ over remarks he made concerning 3 Sheik children who refused to have their passport photos taken without their turbans. Passport Canada denied them passports. Pro or Con….I’m perfectly happy to allow everyone the right to an opinion and their freedom to express it….As Bill O’Reilly would say, “I’m all about the free speech here. I’m a free speech guy”….OK…. guy/turd/pinhead….let’s not quibble.

My problem is this:

I’ve had questions for years….since I was young…about certain things about race and laws and culture…..but I’m not allowed to ask the questions. It’s racist to question something like that…..I’ll be seen as intolerant. I’m not even allowed to ask the question. I was scared away from my questions decades ago.

No one asks them….

So, no one answers them.

We all walk around pretending we understand because if we say, “I don’t understand” or try to compare one situation to another….we are singled out. It’s terrifying.

…and you can tell this because not only are we dressed adorably in toques and resting comfortably on the chesterfield, drinking 6% beer with our pet beavers….but because we have a government willing to defend our civil liberties.  I would like to invite all Americans who are unhappy with their current President and the damage he’s doing to your Bill of Rights to come to Canada and claim political asylum.

I’m pleased to say our leaders are actually willing to PROTECT OUR PRIVACY  by denying a recent move to allow law enforcement to access our personal data without a warrant. I mean, they are protecting my privacy in ways I never realized. I always asumed that if the cops wanted to call up the telephone company to get my current address and phone number, that they could do it without a warrant. THEY CAN’T!

I’m shocked…clearly…I could have been committing a lot more crimes all of these years. What a waste!