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10 Things Your Dog Would Never Do… 
1.    Tell you your ass looks fat in those jeans
2.    Ask you to wear a dog collar and call him “master”
3.    Rent a video camera and ask you to tape yourself scratching his tummy
4.    Leave you for a younger, prettier owner
5.    Fart and blame it on your husband 

But [...]

OK…OK….
If you are thinking of sending me an angry email about how offended you are by this off-colour the topic….
I have only one thing to say to you:
“uhmmmm…. What…are you new in town?”
Our new policy at CanadaWry is to feel flattered by your attention. Clearly, something about my work compels you to visit this site day after day [...]

I’m posting what I have to date….It’s not done….It’s certainly not right. I have to move on and write someting else. I’ll come back to this one:
The biggest problem with this piece is rhythm….humour is all about the rhythm.  
There’s an age old saying (and by “age old” I mean “the 1980’s”) that has graced both [...]

These photos taken in Kirkland Lake Ontario
made me feel magic….and awe….
I see warm memories  whenever the trees are covered with snow.
I think snow is romantic (it’s OK to laugh…everyone does)
…and I’m a good Northern Girl and always appreciate a good moose-sighting.

These photos of a rare white moose will open to larger image files.

  I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
It seems that parents are using the Safe Haven Law in Nebraska to abandon their teenagers at local hospitals….and in fact….they are even crossing state lines to do it. 
Now, the Safe Haven Laws were enacted specifically to keep newborn infants born to teen Moms or others [...]

NOTE: Crazy formatting issues with this post! Just click the “this is a preview” link to read the damn thing…
What You Don’t Know WILL Kill You! 

Top Secret Photo shows militant hamster training with a shoulder mounted grenade launcher.

This terrifying, never before seen picture of an improvised exploding wristwatch was seized in the recent raid of a [...]

 
Funniest Thing happened….I was reminded of this totally weird site I created two years ago when I had too much time on my hands one fate-full Canada Day weekend…
For some reason, I created this satiri-site called Colbear-Nation….my son and Sister Sue were reading me excerpts last night and I must admit….I thought I was fuckin’ [...]

Finally!
The only guests still willing to talk to Bill O’Reilly are creepy-looking puppets…..oh that`s not a nice thing to say about Michelle Malkin……..and 80’s TV hearthrob….Alf……
Hey! Wasn’t Dennis Miller also popular in the 80’s?
I remember when Dennis Miller was funny…..*sigh*….I miss THAT Dennis Miller….
I digress, sorry…..
Over the past several years Bill O`Reilly has been invited [...]

Fine! I take it back….David Copperfield really is creepy. 
I have defended him. I’ve said we need to ‘Give Copperfield a Break’…But, TMZ uncovered this instructional document from Copperfield’s show complete with instructions on how to seperate prospective prey from the herd and what appear to be some pretty lame code words….You know, I can’t [...]

I don’t know if he’s guilt or innocent, but I do think David Copperfield is being treated unfairly.
The alleged victim remains unnamed and her story remains untold but, the Feds have been leaking details early in this investigation and it’s not right.
Say what you will about the guy….
He’s pompus, weird, a little creepy…but he’s a [...]

I apologize in advance for the big spaces….formatting in WordPress is a bit of a nightmare for me….
I was looking for short-form fiction gigs to exercise my creative muscles and I came across the following ad on Craig’s List…

 
 
 
 
 
But, not really being interested in writing “Adult Content” , I sent [...]

Back in 2004, Bill O’Reilly settled a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by a former producer for his Fox News show The O’Reilly Factor. Many websites picked up the more titillating excerpts from the legal filing, and I don’t blame them. No one has ever ….uhhh…..errrrr….’offered’ to ‘pleasure’ me with a sandwich in a shower and [...]

Man, ya gotta hate it when this happens!  Poor dude in Venzuela woke up during his own autopsy. Luckily they had only just begun…(cue Streisand music)…..and you thought YOU were having a bad day. I feel badly for the guy, who had been fished out of a car wreck…but it had to be an enormous [...]

 A disgruntled Belgian voter put his country up for sale on Ebay.
Hilarious? Totally…But, also understandable.  Tell me how a country of 10 million people racks up $300 billion in national debt. That’s 30 billion dollars per person… Is Bush secretly running Belgium too? Hell, it wouldn’t have to be in secret….who pays any attention to Belgium?

 …Try ….   EVERYTHING! 
OH DUUUUUUUDE……SERIOUSLY……
You’re killin’ me here.
I was looking for a pic to put with the story below and found this.
I stand by David Duchovny’s hotness…but, this picture really calls my judgement into question.
He looks characteristically pouty albeit a little slippery and scared…
David, baby….I can’t defend you in the shiny pants….but, to be fair…it takes a [...]

 ’It was a well known saying in Russia “that there is no leisure intercourse in Soviet Russia”, probably it is less known for the rest of the world. It meant that Soviet citizens have made this only for get some kids. But recently it has been known that there was a whole bunch of those [...]

     OK, now I’ve seen everything….I keep saying that, but I always mean it. Hot Mormons taking off their clothes…..pinch me. I must be in my gay best friend’s fantasy….. 
Don’t like my title? …Here’s my argument….’taking god’s name in vain is NOT using his name in casual conversation or as a curse….it’s actually fighting wars and committing [...]

Well too bad baby because you’ve got it girl!  It seems the reason she doesn’t appear on some magazine covers has nothing to do with her penchant for throwing cellphones and things at employees….And it’s certainly not because she has a notoriously bad attitude….It’s because she’s black. Naomi has joined with a number of other [...]

Patience or discipline? David Letterman gave a wonderful interview to Oprah today. I loved it. He was hilarious as usual…He never replied to the copy of my book I sent him…but I don’t hold grudges…
Speaking of his son, he asked about the issue of patience versus discipline and since I have had a tremendously [...]