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   Fozzy Bear – Fugitive
Robbed of an Oscar for his role in the 1979 hit “The Muppet Movie” this beloved funnyman left show business in the early 80’s and turned to a life of crime. Paroled after 6 years in prison for drug and weapons offenses, Fozzy once again ran afoul of the law when [...]

233333 Palm Canyon Lane Malibu CA 90265 (yes, the other listed address is wrong)
It’s for sale, or I wouldn’t give out the address….click the pic to see the listing with more pics.

 This is Conan O’Brien’s letter…I think he did a fine job. As an editor, there is very little I would quibble over! You and I both know how important my opinion is to Mr. Obrien….So I’m sure this will be a huge relief for him. (hey! he’s not the only one who can be funny)

People [...]

Words are powerful tools…
Words can, quite literally, change the world.
Well chosen words can inspire the masses,
Topple empires …..
and make women swoon.
That’s right -
SWOON.
Note the phrase – “well chosen”  here…it’s important to make the distinction.

Oh Johnny Honey….Johnny Depp…..you beautiful bastard.  
Please forgive me for what I am about to say.  You KNOW how much I love you….
But Matt Damon may actually be the greatest actor of my generation….of OUR generation.
No…..shhhhhhhh……it’s OK Johnny…shhhhhhhh….it’s OK……OK-baby….it’ll be fine.
You are still OH sooooooo talented….and cooooooool
I’ve always liked Matt Damon but – as Pitt and [...]

WOW! What a gripping movie! I mean that in the most literal sense. My son and I were clenching each other through about a third of the show. It was everybit as intense as any of my favourite thrillers.
I’ve said before that Ron Howard is one of our greatest storytellers and he does historical work [...]

Community Leaders involved with “Special” Interest Groups, namely those ironically involved with Intellectual Disabilities, like Tony Parsons of the Special Olympics, are up in arms over Ben Stiller’s new movie “Tropic Thunder”.
 We don’t need to go there.  It’s been all over the news lately.I’m sure you’ve already heard the noise. They object to a [...]

 
“Special” Interest Groups, namely those ironically involved with Intellectual Disabilities, like Tony Parsons of the Special Olympics, are up in arms over Ben Stiller’s new movie “Tropic Thunder”.
We don’t need to go there.  It’s been all over the news lately. I’m sure you’ve already heard the noise. They object to a storyline and use [...]

I wrote this last year when Harry Potter came out….in light of the recent Bat Movie….it seemed apropos to dust it off again pour vous! Enjoy…  
  
Abracadabra
 BOX OFFICE MAGIC or SMOKE & MIRRORS
With a whopping  $44.8 million, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix has broken the all-time record for the biggest single-day box office [...]

 
Today my cockles (you know the ones….. ‘of my heart’….not to be confused with my other cockles, like the cockles of my elbow or the cockles of my foot) were seriously warmed by the Jedi Knights of The LA Times fighting their Dark Lord Sam Zell and his editorial killing machine/Galactic Journalism Death Star.
Zell [...]

 
Life isn’t necessarily about the days …or years… or minutes you spend in this world. It’s about what did when you were here.
When someone dies at a young age, everyone is prone to saying “He died too soon”….and I completely understand the sentiment….I really do. 
I cannot even conceive of the pain I would experience [...]

 
WOW!……OK….So…uhhhhhh…..went to see Vantage Point today…..while everyone was getting shot, I literally turned to my son and said, “Me next, please shoot me next”.
My vertigo was the most enjoyable part of the movie….They do still sell Steady Cams correct?..Note to directors: Having every shot franticly vibrating for 98 minutes, does not high action intensity-make….The theatre [...]

First, this pic was taken recently at an event in Toronto…The lovely lady in the photo is Illusionist Criss Angel…The the other gorgeous one on the right is one of my favorite people in the universe, Susan Boshcoff. I’m posting this photo without her permission. If she asks me to take it down, I will. [...]

 Thank you….thank you….thank YOU GOD!!!
Paris – “I ___________ therefor I am” (get it? she doesn’t actually do ANYTHING) -Hilton’s new movie “The Hottie and the Nottie”  opened this weekend on 111 screens nationwide and raked in a breathtaking $23,000. …awwww…I know what you’re thinking….these high-minded artistic movies don’t find their audience until later…sometimes they [...]

 This photo of Daniel Day Lewis was lifted from the website of photographer Marcel Hartman.
I love this man.
I’m not into celebrity worship. I find it demeaning (see George Clooney and Brad Pitt’s Ass Pillaged by Marauding Hordes, then left feeling dirty and used)
But there is nothing sexier than pure talent…and Daniel Day Lewis has [...]

Finally!
The only guests still willing to talk to Bill O’Reilly are creepy-looking puppets…..oh that`s not a nice thing to say about Michelle Malkin……..and 80’s TV hearthrob….Alf……
Hey! Wasn’t Dennis Miller also popular in the 80’s?
I remember when Dennis Miller was funny…..*sigh*….I miss THAT Dennis Miller….
I digress, sorry…..
Over the past several years Bill O`Reilly has been invited [...]

I don’t make the rules people….I just write about them. 
With a proverbial sea of worthy honorees to choose from, such as Kevin Federline, Dina Lohan, Paris Hilton and my own personal pharmacist (sometimes good drugs happen to good people), this gruesome twosome are going to be honored with the Peace Summit Award at the conference of Nobel Laureates in [...]

     This post comes from the “quit yer insipid whining” pile….
So, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing Showtime over the title of David Duchovney’s new show Californication. You see, they had an album/song/video by that name in 1999. (read about it on TMZ) They are suing for the name and any profits the show has [...]

 I revised my last post about the film “Redacted” to make some comments directly to Mark Cuban. They aren’t terrible comments by any stretch….I just asked him to shrug his shoulders and stand down in the face of the artistic controversy.  I may have used the phrase “grow a set” but, that’s really as far [...]

If a piano falls in the forest and crushes a wandering piano tuner….and no one is there to sketch it into a New Yorker cartoon…is it still funny?…or, as the very act of observation alters what is being observed…is the ironic rendered ironic, merely by our observation.
Or does irony stand alone…
Personally, I like to think [...]

Fine! I take it back….David Copperfield really is creepy. 
I have defended him. I’ve said we need to ‘Give Copperfield a Break’…But, TMZ uncovered this instructional document from Copperfield’s show complete with instructions on how to seperate prospective prey from the herd and what appear to be some pretty lame code words….You know, I can’t [...]

Madam Taussaud’s Wax Museum is a little slow on the uptake.  To promte the release of Ocean’s 13 on DVD, she (I know the actually “she” has died…don’t get all anal about it)  moved the wax statues of George and Brad to a display where the fans were all too real and could gain access [...]

DOH!  In a tragic, yet nonetheless HILARIOUS gaff, Sumner Redstone’s Mom & Pop Movie Shop/Hollywood Deathstar/Galactic Media Empire, announced that revenue and profits are up this year, with revenues over $3.7 billion (with a ‘B’)….”Yippee!” Who knew you could make money in Hollywood?
The announcement is rendered somewhat ironic however, due to the very public contention [...]

Britney Spears’ mother Lynn is writing a parenting book….wow….’nuff said….

I don’t know if he’s guilt or innocent, but I do think David Copperfield is being treated unfairly.
The alleged victim remains unnamed and her story remains untold but, the Feds have been leaking details early in this investigation and it’s not right.
Say what you will about the guy….
He’s pompus, weird, a little creepy…but he’s a [...]

At least Nero only fiddled while Rome burned while Glen …someone please explain why this guy still has a job…..Beck danced a jig on the charred and still burning remains of Malibu beach, declaring….I shit-you-not…”I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in [...]

  JK Rowling revealed the shocking news that Dumbledore, the famed and beloved Headmaster of the harry Potter series is gay, at the International Author’s Festival today. I don’t know why…but I couldn’t be happier.  Pointy hats, heeled shoes and elaborate flowing robes aside…I never would have guessed that Dumbledore was homosexual. Of course, these stories [...]

 No, seriously…12 FBI agents raided David Copperfield’s Vegas warehouse yesterday, but refused to comment on the ongoing case.  The warehouse, which the magician pretentiously refers to as the ”International Museum & Library of the Conjuring Arts”, contained, among other things, $2 million dollars in cash.  However, $2 mil in small bills does not a museum-make…..so I’m [...]

But loses custody of kidlettes to ex-hubby Federline . Now I know I said I wasn’t going to pick the low-hanging fruit earlier….but, this was worthy of comment because of personal experience….and I must give her credit….she’s had two babies…her fruit seems to have faired remarkably well.
Seriously though….
It’s OK to feel bad for her but, it’s [...]

Maxim.com posted this list of OJ rhymes, related to the Vegas crimes….see what I did there?
OK, they aren’t perfect or brilliant, but neither am I.
It’s been a rhyme-y kinda week…so, here it goes….
“If the items are mine, then what is the crime?”
“If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches.”
“If I’m [...]

 
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful…Hate me because I’m a raging bitch. Honestly, the reason I posted this article was the final line, which I happily use as my title here…..clever…literary….delightful….much like Naomi Campbell herself!   HA!…gotcha…..see what I did there?…..I made a little joke.
I want to know why the crazy, evil, bitchy, unstable, difficult to deal [...]

 Sharpen your pencils people, I’m about to tell you a powerful secret…..
For those of you who don’t know (which would be all of you) I’m a marketing consultant. I prefer the title ‘guru’ but, it doesn’t look as pretty on my business cards.
There’s a wonderful little book called The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing and [...]

I was prepared to say that most jokes are not entirely limited to a single comedien, especially with current affairs. But, then I clicked through to the article and this is what presented itself:  “Cenk Uygur of Air America’s morning show “The Young Turks” insisted on his program Wednesday that Colbert used his joke on [...]

 …Try ….   EVERYTHING! 
OH DUUUUUUUDE……SERIOUSLY……
You’re killin’ me here.
I was looking for a pic to put with the story below and found this.
I stand by David Duchovny’s hotness…but, this picture really calls my judgement into question.
He looks characteristically pouty albeit a little slippery and scared…
David, baby….I can’t defend you in the shiny pants….but, to be fair…it takes a [...]

(AHHHHHH…that’s more like it)
It’s a live action half hour show about an insanely sexy, though self destructive, navel-gazing, has-been author who has lots of sex and dirty talk, while doin’ drugs and pining after his ex…It seems oddly inappropriate for the Cartoon Network…but who am I to judge?
Nudity, cocaine and Cheerios are every bit as [...]

Nothing brightens my day like a good dose of irony.
The night before he was arrested in his Las Vegas hotel suite for armed robbery and related charges …OJ Simpson was caught on camera by TMZ whistling “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz.  It’s only appropriate since it’s too late for [...]

Well too bad baby because you’ve got it girl!  It seems the reason she doesn’t appear on some magazine covers has nothing to do with her penchant for throwing cellphones and things at employees….And it’s certainly not because she has a notoriously bad attitude….It’s because she’s black. Naomi has joined with a number of other [...]

  OK-OK…MAY I……It’s seriously weird….I know…but, even though I let my son wander around with bed-head…I always feel the desire to take a brush to Aaron Eckhart…Look, he’s a very talented guy. My son and I both love Thank You for Smoking…Conversations with Other Women….he was kinda needy….No Reservations, he was trying too hard to [...]

First, my heartfelt congratulations to Kathy Griffin for her Emmy win….from one red head to another….She has been an under-rated comedien for too long.
Now, there’s a dust-up because she said “Suck It Jesus”… in her thank you speech.  Here’s the deal people….you are NOT constitutionally protected against being offended or having your feelings hurt. Free speech [...]

  *sigh*…Why are Janet Jacksons nipples  still making headlines? If I knew I could get 3 years worth of international headlines by exposing one of mine…well….let’s just say, I’d be whipping them out every once in awhile. It’d be well worth the fine….for me anyway. There wouldn’t be enough therapy in the world for you however…
Ironically, [...]

Patience or discipline? David Letterman gave a wonderful interview to Oprah today. I loved it. He was hilarious as usual…He never replied to the copy of my book I sent him…but I don’t hold grudges…
Speaking of his son, he asked about the issue of patience versus discipline and since I have had a tremendously [...]

OK, this is totally serious… Hailed for limitless talent, Clooney given French cultural honor”…
I love him…I really do. I begrudge the man nothing…He deserves his success and his life…He should do every single 22 yr old model he can get his hands on….But “LIMITLESS” talent? I’m a big fan and I have real trouble with [...]